I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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