Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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