Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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