the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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