how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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