Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
