Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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