Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
