Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
