I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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