Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
