i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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