So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
