As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
