guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Rumble strips road head = magical
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
