I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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