shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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