the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
