This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
