whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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