My brain says no but my pants say off.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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