go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I believe in your delicious
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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