just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
