oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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