i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I think pants incapable of making pants work
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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