Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
