My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm both gender and math confused
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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