So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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