I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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