is this the sara with the beer cane?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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