new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
