I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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