im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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