The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
