Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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