Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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