i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
