This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
