Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
