Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
