dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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