At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
