Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
