I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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