was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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