Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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