I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
