If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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