I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
