My first STD was from a foam party
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
