How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
