Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
