it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
