She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
