we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
