This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
