That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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