How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize