I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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