Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
