My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
