# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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