Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
