I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
