i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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