Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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