Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
