:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
