I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
