i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize