Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
